This week was a tough week. We talked about self-image. I was asked how was my self image before I met my partner. Back then, my self-image was good. I was only 22 and in a popular local band, and in an apartment with two roommates. I still felt good about myself until she told me nine months into our pregnancy that she didn't wear a condom with the guy. Since then, I felt like I wasn't living for myself, I was living for my son. I didn't care what I looked like. Why should I? We didn't marry each other for love. It took me doing something with my life like going back to school to get me to give a shit about myself.
But now, my self esteem is low. Now that I have to worry about how I look, I don't like myself. My hair is too thin, I have WAY too many moles, I still get large pimples on my face. I worry the next girl who sees my penis will think it's small. I don't feel like I'm manly enough for a woman to like me. I don't work out. I don't know how to work on a car. I can't cook. I'm emotional. I really believe one of the reasons she left me was because of these things.
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