Tuesday I started my divorce class. I was afraid I would be the youngest one there and I was correct. Four of the people could be my parents and one could be my grandparent! Still, it was nice to hear their stories and no that no matter the age, people can experience the same pain.
A divorce is a type of death. It's the death of a relationship. Therefore, I am going through the similar processes one goes through when a loved one dies. My death was a "sudden death." We had a fight about a month before she left me, but I didn't see a separation coming. Yet as I reflect back, it could also be looked at as a lingering death. I think about how I use to come home and give her a hug. But now it feels like it was just us going through the motions.
Now is considered the mourning period: pain, anger, failure, rejection and possibly helplessness. Pain is mostly gone, anger is starting to get under control. Rejection was brief. At first I felt rejected, like she didn't want anything to do with me. And even if that may be true, it doesn't matter. Because if she didn't want me, a man who was going places with his life, then that's her loss. Helplessness I felt during the first two weeks. You see people in a movie crying on the ground in the fetal position, you think "yeah right, life can't get that bad." But it did.
The mourning period will take awhile. I'm not going to fool myself and think I'm over this death in just a couple of months. But so far, it gets better after each month, and that's all I can ask for right now!
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